“You know you are a writer when”: writing and coffee addiction jokes

January 4, 2021 By marc Leave a Comment

I am trying to locate an old joke but did not succeed. It goes something like (very roughly paraphrased):

You haven’t slept for 24 hours. The room is spinning around you. You have enough caffeine in your blood to kill a horse. But you won’t stop what you are doing. What does it mean???

You are a writer.

Please help me to find the original! Email me here

However, I got obsessed with finding that particular joke, and uncovered a number of good ones. Enjoy!

Alternative version: “God, give me coffee to change the things I can, wine to accept the things I can’t, and cannabis to know the difference”. That one’s actually market-ready, I am sending in my order to the T-shirt company now 🙂

Has she gone off her meds, or is she just determined to end patriarchy no matter the cost?

These are not coffee or writing related, but still my favorites…

This is a good example of the relativity of perception

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“If we were all to sit in a circle and confess our sins, we would laugh at each other for lack of originality. — Kahlil Gibran”

“If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
But if I am only for myself, who am I?

If not now, when?”

— Hillel

“Pain is not a punishment, pleasure is not a reward… good and bad, happy and sad, all thoughts vanish into emptiness” — Pema Chodron

“We can choose to make the success of all humanity our personal business. We can choose to be audacious enough to take responsibility for the entire human family. We can choose to make our love for the World what our lives are really about. Each of us now has the opportunity, the privilege to make a difference in creating a World that works for all of us. It will require courage, audacity and heart. It is much more radical than a revolution, it is the beginning of a transformation in the quality of life on our planet. You have the power to fire a shot heard around the World.

If not you, who? If not here, where? If not now, when?”

— Werner Erhard, 1979

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

— Frederich Buechner

“Describe the steps you would take,
the gifts you would buy,
the generosity you would bestow,
the kindness you would offer,
the enthusiasm you would have,
the attention you would give,
and anything else that appeals to you,
if you were able to give yourself the things you want someone else to give to you.

NONE OF US WANTS TO GROW UP”

— Cheri Huber

“This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one…being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap, being a force of nature, instead of a feverish selfish clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy…
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as i live it, it is a privilege to do whatever i can. i rejoice in life for its own sake… Life is no brief candle to me, but sort of a bright torch that i got hold of for a moment and i want to make it burn as brightly as possible, before handing it on to future generations”

— George Bernard Shaw “Bright Torch”

“Enlightenment is when you realize that what was planned is a party”

— Victor Baranco

“I would say it in this sentence: “We were made for ecstasy.” We were made for ecstasy. Every human being is made for ecstasy. And not just an occasional ecstasy, but to live on a level of everyday that life is full of thanksgiving, full of wonder, full of awe, full of good sexual loving, and full of good everything. … My commitment in my own life is that I can live that way. Everyday. Now I don’t do it everyday, but I intend it everyday. So to learn to love is to learn to alter flatland consciousness.”

— Jerry Jud in Love is an Intention

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

–Howard Thurman

“The true test of your spiritual success is the happiness of the people around you.”

— Rudi

“When Love beckons follow him, though his ways are hard and steep…if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires…to know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love…to wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.”

— Kahlil Gibran

Throw away
Your begging bowls at God’s door

For I have heard the Beloved
Prefers sweet threatening shouts,

Something on the order of:

Hey, Beloved,
My heart is a raging volcano
of love for you!

You better start kissing me –
Or else!”

— Hafiz

“You don’t need to get what you want if you can express what you want”

— Strephon Kaplan-Williams

“The heart has its reasons that Reason knows not of.”

— Blaise Pascal

“Depression is the reward we get for being ‘good’ ”

— Marshall Rosenberg

“When we are angry, killing people is too superficial.”

— Marshall Rosenberg

“You know you are a writer when”: writing and coffee addiction jokes

However, I got obsessed with finding that particular joke, and uncovered a number of good ones. Enjoy!

These are not coffee or writing related, but still my favorites…

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Circling Guide

Authentic Singles

Manifesting Community

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However, I got obsessed with finding that particular joke, and uncovered a number of good ones. Enjoy!

These are not coffee or writing related, but still my favorites…

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